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River Safe from High Speed Canoes
August 22nd, 2010
This evening my kids and their friends decided to paddle over to the island in one of my canoes. A nice leisurely paddle over there. There were no other boats on the river. It was close to sunset. A beautiful fiery orange sunset. A great time for an evening swim.
Did I say no boats on the river. Not quite. There were two Harris County Sheriffs Boats, a Game Warden boat, and a Coast Guard boat with a 50 caliber machine gun mounted on it.
The Sheriff decided to make the river safe from high speed canoes by, yes, pulling my teens over in their canoe. By the time they came over to them, blue lights a flashing, my kids were pretty much on shore of the island.
And of course the sheriffs were joined by the game warden boat. The other two boats passed by slowly watching my hoodlum kids. Guess they might need a third boat in case there was a high speed chase. They did the usual boat checks. Can’t have Paddling While Intoxicated can we? Had to check the ice chest. Looking for alcohol. One of the kids was 25. Dammit man. Can’t get them for that six pack of beer buried amongst the soft drinks.
Ah-Hah! Gottem. They were short a life jacket. I think that’s a $150 ticket. Maybe more. [ Editors note: Jason's last life jacket ticket was $500, not $150] At least that will pay for some gas for the four law enforcement boats running an otherwise empty river. Maybe a few 50 caliber bullets for that machine gun.
You know.. I’m all for the Sheriffs boats, and the Game Wardens, the Coast Guard being out here and keeping the peace. We need that. There have been a lot of boating accidents out here. People get to drinking and they fight or fuck with people, or beat their wives (or husbands), or wreck their ski boats. They drive their 55mph Waverunner like they’re indestructable and other boats don’t exist. Drunk folks do stupid shit. All of that stuff still happens, but it happens a lot less now. That is all thanks to them. A police presence is good for the river and the neighborhood.
But sometimes it’s a little bit overkill. Sometimes they go a just a little too far. They press the ‘by the book thing’ a little too much. Applying the letter of the law without proportion. Gone are the days me and my buds taking a 12 pack and going fishing in the john boat. Or kicking back on the beach across the river even. And when I’m out I’m more concerned about whether I have all my documents in order. Is the fire extinguisher on my wave runner still there. Do I have enough life jackets to cover everybody that will ride with me in my john boat. Is my boat going to be searched, possibly towed back to the dock by the police for some silly ass infraction I didn’t even know was a law. They’ve taken a lot of the fun out of putting a boat in the river. And as my kids learned, even if you are paddling a canoe.
And, yeah, when you have four Game Warden/Sheriff/Coast Guard boats patrolling the river and there are no other boats but you and your fellow officers, you have to find something to do to occupy and otherwise justify your time out there running the river. But you think they would have bigger fish to fry. What with the crowds at Banana Bend and Loves out of hand. Or patrolling around the dam. Something better to do than write tickets to kids missing one out of four life jackets paddling 50 yards across the river. Two boats spending a half an hour grilling some teens in a canoe seems, well, silly.
Thanks to them for patrolling our river. We need it. And we appreciate it. But come on guys.. a canoe??